Many who struggle through life controlling problems, take a big blow to their self esteem. You may be trying to overcome an addiction of some kind. Society has a league table of how bad this addiction is over that addiction, for example, that doing drugs is worse than drinking alcohol. If you are the addicted person, it doesn’t matter if it’s an eating disorder or sex addiction, it will affect your self esteem just the same, and your family will also be affected by what you are going through and how you feel about yourself.
You may be living through bereavement, battling through a broken relationship or struggling through financial hardship. Your self esteem will take a blow.
We all need to feel good about ourselves. To know that we are loved for who we are, and to know that we are unique individuals. One way to rebuild your self esteem is through developing that creative talent within you.
How to develop your creative side
You may think that you are not a creative person because you have never expressed that side of your personality. When you look around at the people you know, you can recognise a creative side to their nature. They may be good at poetry or painting. Maybe they are able to create beautiful flower displays or make something with wood.
It may surprise you to know that you have a creative side. You may have lost your self confidence when you tried something and failed many years ago. There was no one at the time to encourage you to try again or maybe they even put you down. So you let that small burning light go out.
Well the spark is still there. It may need some fanning into life again, but it can be done. So how can you start to bring your creative side back to life?
Here are 10 ideas to light your flame:-
1. Do something this week that you have never done before. This could mean something small like cooking or trying a new dish, or it could be a big thing like booking that trip to China. Then make a list of other things that you would like to do for the first time.
2. Check out your local evening classes or community college. Do they have a course that really stirs something in you? Learn Spanish? Write poetry? Paint? Ask that friend of yours how they became so good at what they do?
3. Go to the theatre to see a play, or read a different kind of book to what you normally read. Read some inspirational books.
4. Write a letter to a friend (hand write with pen and ink!)
5. Get that camera out of the drawer and take some photos of your town.
6. Keep a journal. You will be surprised how significant some of the seemingly small daily events are. Or carry a small notebook around with you and jot down those great ideas as you get them.
7. Join a group. It could be the local history society, the amateur gardening group, or the photographic society (to get some even better tips on taking pictures around your town). A group can help to spark off new ideas in you and get those creative juices flowing.
8. Do the good things that you always do – in a different way. Find a good and productive alternative to some of the things that you need to change.
9. Start to draw or even doodle. You will be surprised at what comes out.
10. If you get stuck. See a Life-Coach! They will know how to ask the challenging questions and help you set the goals you need to achieve your heart’s desire. They can help you to light your fire! If you cannot afford a coach, find someone you can trust and share your dreams with them.
Releasing your creativity is about changing the way you think. You are unique, so try your own individual approach to everything you do. You don’t need to be alone in doing this. Today is a new day, like a blank sheet, or a fresh canvas. Create your day!
This volume provides a comprehensive review of the essentials of the Therapeutic Community (TC) theory and its practical “whole person” approach to the treatment of substance abuse disorders and related problems. Part 1 outlines the perspective of the traditional views of the substance abuse disorder, the substance abuser, and the basic components of this approach. Part II explains the organizational structure of the TC, its work components, and the role of residents and staff. The chapters in Part III describe the essential activities of TC life that relate most directly to the recovery process and the goals of rehabilitation. The final part outlines how individuals change in the TC behaviorally, cognitively, and emotionally. It is an invaluable resource for all addictions professionals and students.
Why do addicted people keep doing what they are doing? You may think that they know the consequences well enough. Many have seen their relationships break up, their children gone, their job prospects vanish, and have attended more funerals in a few years than most people attend in a lifetime.
Why don’t they know that their addiction is causing the problems? How can they continue with the addiction and manage to ignore the consequences. Many addicts look at the trail of wreckage in their wake and believe that their drug or alcohol use is the solution. So how can it be the problem?
This way of dealing with two opposing ideas, that their drug or alcohol use is the solution and the problem, is in part, what denial is all about. Denial works best if it isn’t spoken out. Those close to the addict know its best not to mention the addiction. Then the illusion can be maintained, the enigma does not need to be unravelled. Keep the truth under the surface.
We all have denial to some degree or another. It is a defence mechanism that helps us deal with all the impossible stuff going on in the world around us. How can you cope with famines, and children dying, and wars and a bad economy? Better to let ‘denial’ come in and allow us to operate at a functional level. If we analysed what was going on, we would need to deal with too many contradictions.
This is the addicts’ plight. If the denial kicks in and he pretends that there is no problem, then the addiction could kill him. Denial then ceases to be a defence mechanism. If he admits to denial he then needs to deal with the addiction. But he can’t give up because the drug or alcohol is the solution. Catch 22!
The denial concept then needs some refinement. If the addict comes to the point of admitting that the drug or alcohol is the problem, then they will have to take ownership and give up the offending behaviour. But often, they cannot do it. So they may try to control the offending habit. It is at this point, with help, that some manage to get on the cycle of change. But mostly, the addiction is about loss of control, and the addict loses sight of the goal again but may continue to believe that he is in control. In this smoke and mirrors world, many can go on for years in this state. It is denial that keeps them in this twilight zone.
Denial is a form of control that affects the addicts family. Relationships are established on co-dependent grounds. The family also adopt the denial as a coping mechanism. As long as there is no problem to deal with, the addict can justify his behaviour or project it on to others. It will work for them as long as it stays underground.
I’ve always wondered! But how do the crop circles in Wiltshire happen? Not enough poppies or wallabies there. Perhaps it’s something in the tea. Read more about how stoned wallabies make crop circles
Why do some people get into a rage? That is probably most of us at some time or another. People who are prone to lose their temper, often talk themselves into a hole.
This self talk can cause real damage to the anger-prone person and their relationship with others. This self-talk is often based on false assumptions and misinformation.
Marcus Aurelius said it well, “How much more grievous are the consequences of anger than the causes of it.”
The truth is:
1. Nobody can put us down or make us feel like worthless without our permission. We allow ourselves to get angry by
(a) telling ourself that the other person means to put me down
(b) believing that if they put me down, I must be insignificant
(c) Therefore I should react with anger to what I believe to be insults and put-downs.
2. Rarely do the words or action of others have the sole purpose of hurting us. People rarely have a vested interest in telling us that I are worthless.
3. Even if the put down is intended, we can stay cool, and not get upset, hurt, provoked or angry unless we choose to. While we may not the other person putting us down, we can choose not to get upset over the whole thing.
4. When I interpret another person’s actions or choices (being late, buying a new car for himself instead of a washing machine for me, interrupting me and so forth) as commentaries on me, I am “Personalising”. Such personalising interpretations are nearly always wrong. People do what they do for their own reasons and these seldom centre on us.
5. Although we may not like someone else’s behaviour towards us, we don’t need to tell ourself how terrible, awful and infuriating it is. Instead, we can tell ourself that there is no particular reason to expect that others will always behave in ways that we consider best for us. The fact is that nobody is perfect and everybody does wrong on occasions, even to us.
6. We do not have the right to be exempt from bad treatment by others. We can only change how we react to it. Why should I tell myself such things are shocking and unbelievably dreadful, when in reality they are par for the course?
7. Should we always expect that circumstances will always go our way? If they do not, does it mean that all is lost? How we respond to these circumstances is what is important.
8. We should not get upset over this or anything else. Self-control is a choice.
9. Why should we claim a right to be angry and upset, since getting upset and staying that way harm me more than anyone else? Why should we want the right to give ourselves ulcers and high blood pressure? Why should we want the right to be miserable because we believe that someone else did us wrong?
10. The bible teaches us to forgive instead of claiming the right to be angry. Forgiveness to a brother, or to an enemy, for hurting us is a good alternative to remaining bitter.
When losing your temper and getting angry causes you to say or do something that you regret, immediately take responsibility, take ownnership of it. Go to the person you have offended and say those two difficult words: “I’m sorry.” Then go a step further and say, “What can we do to work this out?”
Mark Easton’s article regarding the “World Drugs Report 2009″ quotes the report’s author, Antonio Maria Costa.
His argument sets up what some might argue is a bogus choice between total legalisation or tough criminal sanctions. But he makes it with conviction:
“Why unleash a drug epidemic in the developing world for the sake of libertarian arguments made by a pro-drug lobby that has the luxury of access to drug treatment?”
So far, so familiar. But what do you make of this?
“I appeal to the heroic partisans of the human rights cause worldwide, to help UNODC promote the right to health of drug addicts: they must be assisted and reintegrated into society,” Mr Costa demands:
“Addiction is a health condition and those affected by it should not be imprisoned… in order to reduce the security threat posed by international mafias.”
Calling for a “shift of focus” in law enforcement from drug users to drug traffickers, Mr Costa says:
“…arresting individuals and seizing drugs for their personal use is like pulling weeds – it needs to be done again the next day. The problem can only be solved by addressing the problem of slums and dereliction in our cities.”
The best way to improve your life and earn the respect of others is to improve your self-esteem. It may sound like a very difficult task but all that it needs is good guidance. Here are ten tips to help you improve your self-esteem.
1. You should surround yourself with people who are positive and supportive, and shun friends who are cynical and negative. You will respect yourself more, and your self-esteem will grow.
2. You should be clear about what you want to achieve in life. Set goals, and work for their achievement. To make your task easier, break your main goal into several smaller goals which are relatively easier to achieve. This will make the task of reaching your main goals seem easier. It will also give you a feeling of satisfaction whenever you achieve one of the smaller goals.
3. Always be positive about yourself and keep reminding yourself about your good qualities, your accomplishments and how you help your family, friends, others and yourself. Don’t make the mistake of brooding over negative things, and never put yourself down.
4. Develop the ability to accept criticism about yourself, without getting upset or defensive. This will help you eliminate your weaknesses one by one. However, make sure that the criticism is constructive. Don’t allow yourself to be overwhelmed by criticism that is cynical or meant to lower your self-esteem. This will be a great mistake, and do irreparable damage to your self-esteem.
5. Everyone fails from time to time. It is ok to fail. We should not let it get us down or to have too much of a negative effect on us. Learn from your mistakes and decide to succeed next time. This positive attitude will help to overcome the most difficult circumstances.
6. Never compare yourself with others. This is the easiest way to feel inferior and lose self-esteem. It is much better to rate yourself on your own achievements. This will give you self-confidence and improve your self esteem.
7. Never put yourself down. Remember, that your self-confidence, self-respect and self-esteem are affected by the way you see yourself. Project a positive attitude even in most adverse situations. Make it a point to filter out all self-criticism.
8. Don’t give in to bullies in your place of work or in your personal life. You must learn to stand up to them. This can only happen if you are assertive about your rights. When you adopt this approach you will earn the respect of others and also increase your self-esteem.
9. If you have low self esteem, you may find it difficult in getting to know other people. Try to approach a person and introduce yourself. Ask them questions about themselves and try to be genuinely interested in the answers. Listen carefully and attentively to what they say and respond to show your interest. Interacting with people will make you feel more relaxed. You will realize that it is easy to speak to individuals and groups of people. Relax by concentrating on what others are saying, rather than on yourself and see your self esteem start to grow.
10. Self-esteem is also dependent upon the felling of well-being. A lazy person or a poorly groomed person will always feel inferior to a confident, smart individual. So, you need to take good care of your body. Remember, a healthy body is essential for a healthy mind.
It’s a depressing scenario, but it’s becoming a frightening reality in many middle-class households as women turn to cocaine to cope with the exhausting daily grind of juggling their professional and family lives.
An alarming report has revealed that the number of women abusing cocaine is almost at the same level as men for the first time, with 750,000 Britons having used the Class A drug in the past year. And one in 15 women under 25 admits to using it. Read more from this Daily Mail article Housewives hooked on cocaine
