1. Forgiveness is a healing process

Often we cannot start this process alone. It depends on a number of factors. How and when we were hurt and by whom. How did we react at that time. What did we come to believe about ourselves because of this. Remember that forgiveness is a process and the healing can take time. There is no quick fix.

2. Forgiveness is an act of the will

Many think that forgiveness is an act that comes out of a felt emotion. Certainly, there is an emotional dimension to healing and forgiveness. But at it’s basic level, you must choose to forgive. It may not be easy but you must decide to take this course it is a choice.

3. Forgiveness is a sign of positive self esteem

Sometimes the most difficult act of forgiveness is to forgive yourself. This opens the door to be able to forgive others. It is often said that forgiveness boosts your self esteem. When we no longer want to see ourselves in the light of our past hurts and injustices, and come to believe the truth about ourselves, we feel better inside and out.

4. Forgiveness is letting go

Forgiving is not forgetting: It is letting go of anger and hurt and moving on. It doesn’t change what happened. Letting go means that the pain from our past no longer has a hold on us. This makes a way for us to set new plans for our future. Forgiveness means letting go so that we can move on.

5. Forgiveness is an internal process

Forgiveness is an internal process. It can’t be forced, and it doesn’t come easy. It brings with it great feelings of wellness and freedom. But we experience this only when we want to heal and when we are willing to work for it. We claim the right to stop hurting when we say, “I’m tired of the pain, and I want to be healed.” At that moment, forgiveness becomes a possibility-although it may take time and much hard work before we finally achieve it.

6. Forgiveness is recognising that we no longer need our grudges

Dante used the phrase: “The wrathful travel in a cloud”. Their outlook on life is distorted because their inner condition is affected by hate. It doesn’t make sense to remain unforgiving. Nursing grudges works like acid on the soul. We are not able to see straight, literally and spiritually.

7. Forgiveness is no longer wanting to punish people

The anger we feel towards them is hurting us more than it hurts them. The anger was stopping the healing. We feel that inner healing and the peace that goes with it. Forgiveness is accepting that nothing we do to punish the offender will heal us. Forgiveness is freeing up the energy that was spent in anger and chanelling it into our present and future.

8. Forgiveness offers a chance at reconciliation

It was mentioned in a previous article that forgiveness is not reconciliation. Reconciliation is restoring a relationship to a positive state. This is not possible if the perpetrator has died, or a former spouse has remarried. Reconciliation goes beyond forgiveness and may generally not be possible if forgiveness has not taken place. If someone says that they have forgiven a person yet they avoid that person at all costs – it is likely that some deep seated resentment is still there.

9. Forgiveness is the only way to heal the pain

We make a decision to say that we are sick and tired of this pain, we do not want to be a victim any longer, and need to deal with the pain in a positive way. Then we know that the road to to recovery is possible and forgiveness is taking place.

10. Forgiveness is freedom

Forgiveness is freeing up the energy. Forgiving someone means that you have released them from the consequences of their action to you so that you can be free. Those who hold resentment in their heart are in no position to withstand any of the storms of life. Your own personal vision of inner peace and what you want your life to become is available when you forgive.

Forgiveness: 10 Steps to Freedom is a post from: Recovery Coaching

We often feel that ‘just one more time’ is a step too far. The thing that has overcome us now stands on the victory side, and we are a defeated. We may go through many challenges in life. Addiction, financial ruin, divorce and bereavement are just some of the ‘things’ that life throws at us. Can we really recover from these traumas and move forward?

Recover Coaching answers this question in the affirmative. Not only can we recover from life’s traumas, but with the right coaching support, we can become stronger and move forward in ways that we did not think were possible.

Recovery coaching does not deal with the past issues or traumas – for example it will not explain why an addiction has occurred, nor identify the causes.

So what does recovery coaching do?

1. Recovery coaching deals with ‘the here and now’. It encourages clients to look forward and not let their past dictate their future.

2. Recovery coaching recognises future potential not past performance.

3. Recovery coaching assumes that there is a positive attitude in clients who seek to improve their lives through coaching and that this in itself provides the first step to recovery.

4. Recovery coaching helps clients define their own values and strengths to find their way to success because it believes that clients who are clear about their life goals and values are better able to achieve and maintain a long-term recovery.

5. Recovery coaching would agree with Robert H. Schuller in saying, “Goals are not only absolutely necessary to motivate us. They are essential to really keep us alive.”

6. Recovery coaching recognizes that pursuit is the evidence of desire, and that we change in the process of pursuing that which we desire. Zig Ziglar said it best, “What you get by achieving your goals is not as important as what you become by achieving your goals.”

7. Recovery coaching recognizes that people in recovery may lack some life-skills or need new skills to move forward.

8. Recovery coaching helps clients fill in the gaps by  encouraging them to know that learning is part of life, whether they need budgeting skills or a vocational qualification.

9. Recovery coaching is about asking the right questions. Sometimes, powerful motivational questions are needed to allow clients to think in a different way, thus enabling them to overcome a stuck point in their recovery process.

10. Recovery coaching recognises that recovery is a process not a one-time event, and helps clients to move forward from one stage to the next by helping them decide what is right for them.

What is Recovery Coaching? 10 Life-Saving Benefits is a post from: Recovery Coaching