Recovery Coaching » addict

This volume provides a comprehensive review of the essentials of the Therapeutic Community (TC) theory and its practical “whole person” approach to the treatment of substance abuse disorders and related problems. Part 1 outlines the perspective of the traditional views of the substance abuse disorder, the substance abuser, and the basic components of this approach. Part II explains the organizational structure of the TC, its work components, and the role of residents and staff. The chapters in Part III describe the essential activities of TC life that relate most directly to the recovery process and the goals of rehabilitation. The final part outlines how individuals change in the TC behaviorally, cognitively, and emotionally. It is an invaluable resource for all addictions professionals and students.

10 Faces of Denial

admin — Sun, 03 May 2009 07:16:49 +0000

Denial, they say, is “not just a river in Egypt”. Denial is a strange beast. It is on the cycle of change (or, rather, just off it), as ‘pre-contemplation’. That time when you are not thinking about change because you don’t need to. You are a ‘happy user’. Other people are starting to suggest that you have a problem. Then denial raises it’s ugly head and starts to show its various faces.

1. Avoidance.

Avoidance is saying “I don’t think about it. I don’t talk about it.” Whenever the small inner voice starts it’s prompting, it is submerged, drowned under more drink, more sex or with any other distraction.
Avoidance is not going there, saying, “What I don’t know can’t hurt me”.

2. What Problem?

When suggesting that an addict might have a problem, brings out a show of more needles than you would see on a cornered porcupine, you know you’ve pressed a button. The response is a puffed up “What problem? I don’t have a problem.”
He may feel that his righteous indignation has won the day. He has managed to fend off another attack on his character, but the still small voice inside starts to niggle his conscience again.

3. Minimising.

When you cannot convince yourself that you are not in denial, then it’s best to minimise the problem. You may say, “It’s not that bad, it’s such a small thing. It was a problem last month but now I’ve got control of it. If I put my mind to it, I can stop whenever I want to.”

4. Rationalising.

If I can explain the causes of it, I won’t need to sort out the problem. When I get down to the root cause, it will be alright. It’s due to the stress I’m under at work, and that’s putting pressure on the marriage. It’s how my personality is, It’s the way I deal with stress – I can live with it.”

5. Blaming (Projection).

It’s not my fault. If you had been what I have been through, then you would drink. How can I take responsibility for my drinking when it’s not my fault.

6. Comparing.

There are plenty of people with a far more serious problem than me. For example, there’s so and so who’s marriage has just broken up. Compared to him, I don’t have a problem. I don’t need to get help.

7. Manipulating.

If other people want to help me, that’s their business. I’ll just let them do it. If it fails, it’s not my responsibility. I can blame them. They are the one’s who will feel bad. If anybody else wants me to change when I am not ready, my subsequent lapse will be their fault.

8. Feeling Better.

This happens during the first or second week of treatment. Ten days without the symptoms of the problem. Like a revelation it comes. “I’m cured. I don’t need this treatment. I’ve never felt better in my life. All the drugs are behind me.”

9. Compensation

I cannot be acting or behaving the way you say because I always act the opposite.

10. Justification.

I did it because it was the right thing to do at the time. I didn’t think it would lead to anything.
Extended denial can affect a person physically, mentally and spiritually. It can lead to a state of hopelessness.

Hopelessness is itself, another aspect of denial. It denys that we have the ability to change. It means that there is no point in carrying on. It is not even worth anybody trying to help us it would be a waste of their time.

Knowing that you have a problem, does not automatically make bad news into good news. It takes a while for it to sink in. Acceptance does not come easy. It is considered that Denial is, paradoxically, part of the process of recovery. For some, the road to recovery means getting to a place of brokenness, and Denial is often the first step.

10 Faces of Denial is a post from: Recovery Coaching

Alcoholics to lose benefits unless they sober up

admin — Fri, 10 Apr 2009 13:54:33 +0000

Alcoholics who are unable to work as a result of a drink problem will be stripped of their benefits unless they accept help to get sober. Read more of the Daily Telegraph report about alcoholics to lose benefits

Alcoholics to lose benefits unless they sober up is a post from: Recovery Coaching

Am I addicted?

admin — Mon, 06 Apr 2009 17:25:38 +0000

Most addicts don’t need to ask this question, they already know the answer. A life that revolves around the next fix, it fills your waking hours. Getting up in the morning (afternoon?) and getting everything into place. First, set the scene for the first act. Scheming and plotting for the money, then for the substance. Fixed! First you get the habit. Then the habit gets you.

Addicts live to use, and use to live. Very simply, an addict is a person whose life is controlled by a substance or action. Addicts are people living with a chronic relapsing illness steadily progressing to the same end, prison, illness, poverty, and death.

Only you can decide if you have an addiction. How do you know if you are being impartial even to yourself? The following questions may help you make this decision. If you answer Yes to four or more questions, you may have a problem that can be solved with the right help, if you bring it into the open. Remember, that it is no disgrace to admit that you have a problem. Answer the following 12 questions to find out if you need to take the 12 Steps!

1 – Have you ever decided to stop drinking/drugs for a week or so, but only lasted for a day or two?

2 – Do you wish people would mind their own business about your drinking or drugs and stop telling you what to do?

3 – Have you ever switched from one kind of drink or drugs, to another, in the hope that this would keep you from getting hooked or stoned?

4 – Have you needed something to help you face the day when you wake up, during the past year?

5 – Do you envy people who can drink or do drugs without getting into trouble?

6 – Have you had problems connected with drinking or drugs during the past year?

7 – Has your drinking or drug taking caused trouble at home?

8 – Do you ever try to get “extra” drinks or drugs at a party to top up?

9 – Do you tell yourself that you can stop drinking or doing drugs any time you want to, even though you keep getting drunk or stoned when you don’t mean to?

10 – Have you missed days of work or school because of drinking?

11 – Do you have “blackouts”?

12 – Have you ever felt that your life would be better if you did not drink or do drugs?
Did you answer Yes, four or more times? If so, you are probably addicted. Why can this be stated with such authority? It is because thousands of people in recovery have had to answer these questions. They found out the truth about themselves, the hard way. Ask yourself one more question. Where will you be in one year’s time if you keep doing what you are doing now?

Decide if you are going to take the first step to sort out your problem. Try to keep an open mind. There are many people waiting to help you move forward. Remember, there is hope. It’s never too late to make a brand new start.

Am I addicted? is a post from: Recovery Coaching

4 Stages of Addiction

admin — Mon, 30 Mar 2009 14:10:58 +0000

According to the dictionary addiction means:-

1. Being abnormally tolerant to and dependent on something that is psychologically or physically habit forming (especially alcohol and narcotic drugs).

2. An abnormally strong craving.

3. (Roman Law) a formal award by a court sentence of a thing or person to another (as of a debtor to his creditor), a surrender to a master; “under Roman law, addiction was the justification for slavery”
The Chinese have a saying about heroin ‘You begin chasing the dragon but then it jumps on your back and begins chasing you’. Jackie Pullinger, the British woman who set up a ministry in Hong Kong t, wrote a book about her experiences there in ‘Chasing the Dragon’.

This expression relates to smoking heroin, but it could be applied for all mood altering drugs, alcohol, painkillers, tranquillisers, speed, solvents, LSD, cocaine, heroin, crack, ecstasy, barbiturates, and cannabis. It can apply to adrenalin based addictions like gambling, sex, shopping, people (co-dependency) and eating disorders.

Addiction doesn’t just happen. There is a progression towards chemical dependency, or any other addiction. It passes through four main stages.

1. Experimental Stage of Addiction

The Experimental Stage could happen out of curiosity or peer pressure. The user may say “I’ll just try it I don’t have to use it again” The user may experience pleasure or mood swings. The outcome may be intoxication or being stoned, or a ‘rush’ of some sort. Many who experiment with drugs do not progress to the next stage of addiction.

This may start in early teens (sometimes younger) with trying alcohol, cigarettes or cannabis. It is easy to get high because of the body’s low tolerance. Often done with their peers away from a parent or guardian. It may be seen as acting grown up, or a simple act of rebellion.

2. The Recreational Stage of Addiction
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During the recreational stage the user may use at the weekends with friends, just to unwind from a stressful week. Looking for relief. Tolerance increases and more substances may be used, amphetamines (speed), larger quantities of alcohol. Symptoms may include stopping out late, suffering hangovers.

The user is by now starting to plan for use. Waiting for the weekend to be with friends, but also risk taking may increase by smoking on the way to school. Starting to lie about how much, and what is being used. Parents may react at this stage by grounding their child.

3. The Early Dependency Stage

During this stage, the regular user becomes an abuser. Now maintaining an addictive lifestyle that starts to affect others. The young user may be missing school and stealing money to feed the habit. Older users may be struggling to keep their job and running up debts. There is a daily preoccupation to source drugs and this often leads to meeting dealers.

4. The Full Dependency Stage

During this stage of addiction, there is a self destructive and compulsive desire to escape to oblivion, or escape from reality. Sobriety is too difficult to face. If left untreated, the addict may now face despair and risks premature death through overdose, suicide, accidents or side effects. Many end up with legal problems, imprisonment and family breakdown.

Addiction causes two main problems, a chemical (or an adrenalin) dependency problem, and a lifestyle problem. These are explored within the framework of other articles. Has addiction faced you or your family?

4 Stages of Addiction is a post from: Recovery Coaching

About Forgiveness – 7 Myths Explored

admin — Thu, 26 Mar 2009 11:15:27 +0000

One of the big stumbling blocks on the road to recovery is being able to forgive. Yet unforgiveness creates the rubble that blocks our road and prevents us moving forward. We seem to cherish holding onto the pain and the hurt and the rubble piles higher. Why would we rather try and bury the offending pile than face the emotional pain of clearing it? It is well said, that holding on to resentment, is like drinking poison and expecting the other man to die. When the Old Testament leader, Nehemiah, was confronted with rebuilding the walls of Jerusalem, he first had to weep over the ruins.

We must consider doing likewise, weep over the rubble of our past, before we can rebuild our future.

Many recovering from addiction have suffered physical, emotional or sexual abuse. So to forgive the perpetrators seems to be an impossible task. Why is it so difficult to forgive? In many cases it may be our wrong understanding of forgiveness that prevents us taking the first step. It seems in our society that forgiveness is seen as a sign of weakness.

Before we can understand what forgiveness is, it may be helpful to find out what it ‘is n

1. Forgiveness is not forgetting

We cannot forget, and why should we? Those experiences, and even the pain they caused, have a great deal to teach us, both about not being victimised again, and about not doing the same to others.

That which is ‘forgotten’ is often not forgiven. We can learn from our past experiences and help others to move on also.

2. Forgiveness is not condoning

Forgiveness is not saying that what was done to us was OK or unimportant. It was bad. It did hurt. It has made a difference in our life. In fact true forgiveness cannot occur while we are in any way denying, minimising, justifying or condoning the actions that harmed us.

3. Forgiveness is not excusing

Everyone is responsible for their own actions. Forgiveness does not excuse people for what they have done. If you can excuse someone for what they have done, perhaps it is not something that needs forgiving in the first place. We must then be aware of our own choices, the part we may have played at the time.

4. Forgiveness is not a clear-cut one time decision

Forgiveness is often a process – not a one-time event. We may recollect the event and still feel the emotional pain after we have taken the step to forgive. The process may work a layer at a time. When a hurt is deep-seated it may take a number of steps to restore our balance. We will know that the process is complete when we can remember the event and wish that person well.

5. Forgiveness is not absolution

Absolution is setting someone free from guilt. We are not responsible for what they feel. We do not let those who hurt us of the hook. We do not absolve them of all responsibility for their actions. They are still responsible for what they did and must make their own peace with the past. Furthermore, if a crime was committed, they still have to pay their debt to society.

6. Forgiveness is not a form of self sacrifice

We do not need to play the martyr. We need to be honest about how we feel. Do not say it’s OK, when it is not. Being honest about the fact that we are not ready to forgive yet, is better for us in the long run than pretending to forgive

7. Forgiveness is not reconciliation

It is sometimes not possible to reconcile a relationship. The perpetrator may have died, or a former spouse may have remarried We can forgive someone without having to establish a relationship with them again.

Mahatma Gandhi said, “The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong.” You will know that you are on the road to recovery when you can be strong enough to take the first step to forgive. Remember, don’t let your past dictate your future.

About Forgiveness – 7 Myths Explored is a post from: Recovery Coaching