Why do addicted people keep doing what they are doing? You may think that they know the consequences well enough. Many have seen their relationships break up, their children gone, their job prospects vanish, and have attended more funerals in a few years than most people attend in a lifetime.
Why don’t they know that their addiction is causing the problems? How can they continue with the addiction and manage to ignore the consequences. Many addicts look at the trail of wreckage in their wake and believe that their drug or alcohol use is the solution. So how can it be the problem?
This way of dealing with two opposing ideas, that their drug or alcohol use is the solution and the problem, is in part, what denial is all about. Denial works best if it isn’t spoken out. Those close to the addict know its best not to mention the addiction. Then the illusion can be maintained, the enigma does not need to be unravelled. Keep the truth under the surface.
We all have denial to some degree or another. It is a defence mechanism that helps us deal with all the impossible stuff going on in the world around us. How can you cope with famines, and children dying, and wars and a bad economy? Better to let ‘denial’ come in and allow us to operate at a functional level. If we analysed what was going on, we would need to deal with too many contradictions.
This is the addicts’ plight. If the denial kicks in and he pretends that there is no problem, then the addiction could kill him. Denial then ceases to be a defence mechanism. If he admits to denial he then needs to deal with the addiction. But he can’t give up because the drug or alcohol is the solution. Catch 22!
The denial concept then needs some refinement. If the addict comes to the point of admitting that the drug or alcohol is the problem, then they will have to take ownership and give up the offending behaviour. But often, they cannot do it. So they may try to control the offending habit. It is at this point, with help, that some manage to get on the cycle of change. But mostly, the addiction is about loss of control, and the addict loses sight of the goal again but may continue to believe that he is in control. In this smoke and mirrors world, many can go on for years in this state. It is denial that keeps them in this twilight zone.
Denial is a form of control that affects the addicts family. Relationships are established on co-dependent grounds. The family also adopt the denial as a coping mechanism. As long as there is no problem to deal with, the addict can justify his behaviour or project it on to others. It will work for them as long as it stays underground.
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